Most dangerous writing challenge

Before 

so I was five when this happened. it was my first time gettinf a school photo and I was exiceted. The first thing I did was to take the class pet which was a parrot named jack. I took him back to school and sat down waiting for our teacher to say that it was picture day. She walked and and said ' are you guys ready to get your photot's' that is what she said and our whole class screamed 'yes!' Now  it was really exiceting because we were the first class to go and do our photos. I was the first person and my picture looked great. Until the next person came and it was sandrea she was mean to everyone. Miss forgot to lock the cage and jack came out and sat on the top of Sandreas head. Which made her photo terrible. She was so angry that jack ruined her photo she cried the whole entire day and it was funny.

      Description 

This is my dangerous writing . This time we were writing about a girl getting her picture ruined. There are lots of mistakes. The reason why was because we only had five minutes.It was a speed writing task.I wish that I could type faster but I am happy about my progress. By the this didn't actually happen and Sandra is a made up name I though of.   My challenge for you guys is to try it out and see if you beat me. My score is 164 words again .  If you want to see the link CLICK HERE.Can you beat my writing? I hope you enjoy this writing.

                                 After                                                               

 Hi, I was five when this happened and here's what caused the problem. It was my first time getting a school photo and I was extremely excited. The first thing I did was to take the class pet which was a parrot named Jackson but Jack for short. I took him back to school and put  him in the cage which was steal. I sat down waiting for our teacher to say that it was picture day. She walked and then she  said ' are you guys ready to get your photo's?', When she was half way there the whole class screamed 'yes!' 

Now it was really exciting because we were the first class to go and do our photos. I was the first person and my picture looked great. Until the next person came and it was Sandra,she was mean to everyone. 

Miss had forgotten to lock the cage and and you'll never guess what happened?Jack came out and sat on the top of Sandra head. Which made her photo terrible. She even and a little stain on her hair for weeks (2 weeks). She was so angry at Jack that she never ever wanted Jack in her house to look after again. That is my story. Did you like it?